You know you drink too much coffee when..

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
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You ski uphill.
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You speed walk in your sleep.
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You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are�good in the sack."
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You answer the door before people knock.
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You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
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You just completed another sweater and you don't know��

You sleep with your eyes open.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.�

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away�without using the timer.
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You lick your coffeepot clean.
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You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
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You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
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Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
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You chew on other people's fingernails.
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The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
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You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their�margaritas.
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You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
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You can jump-start your car without cables.
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Cocaine is a downer.�

All your kids are named "Joe."�

You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
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Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
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You don't sweat, you percolate.
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You buy milk by the barrel.
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You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
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You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
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You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize�it's not plugged in.
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You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
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You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
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People get dizzy just watching you.
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When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."