so i got a folder-full of poems from c. now, i am attracted to c, always have been panther even knew i was and had some problems with that. c. is loud and take charge kinda gal. her body is built for sin, as she would say. we flirt, but she flirts with everyone. and boyfriend does help. so i was surprised to find the folder.

weeks ago, when i was trying to feel better about myself, we ended up at a department meeting. we joked, flirted, etc. and then had ice cream at friendly's (her thing to do). one of the things that came up was our poetry. a few days later, i sent her four poems in an email. i never heard back. til this morning.

i am wary of what to make of this...especially since i find her more than a lot attractive...even worse now since her poems show a side ot her. they are rough, lots of em, but what i see i like.

but c's got someone, and i'm too tired from my own crash-burn to deal with chancing her. still it nags me that not chancing her is mistake. or maybe i should at least show interest?

sigh. almost in the same thought, i can feel myself pull away from the thought of having someone else in my life. i need my time. survival time.