i trust they're not dating. he seemed so very straight and proper. but if she comes in, i am out of here. i'm hoping not, since she's probably at grad school or work. ugh, i probaby just set myself up for a fall. or potential fall. this burg is too small for the two of us. not really, but this is a place we both liked. though i do read more than she does. hey, this place should be mine. mine! ok, sorry about that...

a bit of insight came to me on the way over here from work. it's eluding me right now. it had to do with why i'm sor angry with her. why i'm seething inside over her reply. what was it again? hmm.... well, it'll come back to me. i hope. i thought it was a very good insight into myself. but maybe not if i couldn't remember it right?

well docgirl had a big exam today. i emailed her two days ago and this morning to wish her luck. i hope that wasn't too scary. it was kinda instinctive. i have a great dread of exams and i would want someone to wish me luck. especially since these exams are so huge for her career. i couldn't imagine the pressure a third year would be under. though i probably should ask my parents. their med school experience would be very helpful in understanding where docgirl is coming from. wonder what mom and dad would think if i ever brought home another doctor? the house is so full of medical people. thankfully none of their children. but it seems every other cousin and neighbor and friend is a doctor. big digression.

seems this evening i'll try to keep things light. no panther talk, ok. unless she shows, then all bets are off. i will be in a fetal position, squeaking like a pig. : ) so back to non-panther.

i staring at kim harrison's new novel: the good, the bad, and the undead. i read the first one: dead witch walking. it was recommended by a student. how's that for cool? a goth girl named laura. i enjoyed it. it has lots of vamapres, pixies, witches, etc. she contructed a fine heroine who is trying to buck the system. someone i can really get behind. so i picked up the sequel. i don't think i'll buy it. i've got some serious bills. so even a little saved by reading in the cafe will help me. i resell lots of what i read but sometimes it takes weeks to sell a book on ebay.

also i was looking for simon green's new novel. he's also kinda out there. he writes novels about the dark heart of london. a place only a few know exists but it's populated by demons and angels and things that neverwhere. sort of a tame clive barker. who i actually met once in cambridge. he was a very very accessible man. nice to talk to, even with a heavy accent.

so i've saved something like nearly half of what i need for an ipod. but the more i read the more i may need a bigger pod. i want to keep documents on it and pics, not just music. so that means i need more space. space means more cash. sigh. and i do have bills. it might be better to pay the bills with the cash squirreled away for ipod. but i kinda enjoy cheering myself up with a purchase, especially something lije that. i mean the powerbook im using right now i bought 4 weeks after panther left me. it didn't cure my problems but i did help a lot. i love toys as panther said. if i didn't take this trip this summer, i would end up with a plasma screen, i know it.

blonde sent me a huge bundle of emails from a friend of hers. this woman elizabeth is an expat in cairo. she emails a daily log of her times in the middle east. they are very interesting in what you learn about the middle east. from an american point of view and woman's point of view. i thought about posting them on my website. oh, if i can get it up and running. sigh. everything takes time. effort. sigh.

maybe i will do some work on it here? i could all the docs and pics i was going to use have been transfered onto this harddrive. i did that because i wanted to take it with me on the trip. i could post more info than i could email to people. i wonder if i can really run a website from this little bittie laptop. i might need a second battery if i really get into this. see how this toy thing works....hmm....i am just a big kid...

the crowd has thinned out. i guess people are going to their families now. afterwork coffee having been drained and all.

for all those bummed by the holiday here's a nice treat:

Despair.com's Bittersweets

i thought of buying a box of these for myself. i always wanted one of their posters. they are perfect.