ugh, i am soooo tired. my head hurts from lack of sleep, and the kids are out of control. kevin's not in and fran's out. jez, they have horrible morning classes so the kids are being particularly bad to the subs.

and i just want to curl up in bed. shut the world out.

my friends peanut and blonde both seem to agree that i shouldn't go looking for panther, and the heartache that that brings to me. i know i know... i shouldn't have gone looking at her ebay list, but i found myself almost magically there. then to find still more things i had given her being sold off like so much unwanted stuff. ouch! it hurt. worse because i can't imagine why she would. yogagirl implies i did something to her to hurt her and make her do this. i disagree. but that's not my point here, sorry.

my point is i shouldn't be looking for trouble.

yes i know she's doing it, so don't go looking to see. yes, i know she's online dating, don't go to places she hangs out.

why do i do this? does anyone have an answer?

i'm going to try and stop. NO i AM going to stop. it's not healthy.

i need to turn to myself and deal with mending these wounds.

ok, on to better news...

my phone sex partner called again last night. it was all very naughty. i know it's no substitute for real life (and we both agree) but it was hot hearing someone cum in your ear. it's been a long time since panther i had done any phone sex. and she was never as adventurous as my caller. we'll call her goodgirl.

it's part of the reason i'm so tired. goodgirl and i went at it for a while. i told her about my experience with threesomes and that seemed to really get her going. she's a very sheltered woman. college life seemed to open the door but she's just peeking in, not stepping inside. yet. her bi friend maybe in for a shock when she starts responding to her passes at her. i'll let you know how things go, dairyland. and if we do meet for something more than a conversation, you'll be the first to know.

sigh. i'm going to need to go to the school nurse today and get something for this head. ouchie! this is insane. do u know i didn't even have any caffeine this morning because i didn't want to make this worse? now i regret it. at least i'd be awake. now i'm tired AND hurtin'.

ok, i better go do something to justify the salary i get here.

if you get a chance take my sex polls at the bottom of the screen. there are 11 of them and they rotate so looking for a different one each time you come back.

shout out to l.bug, chickpea, dirtygirl, sexycreature, and anyone else reading my words. you guys rock!