Please don't give me a guilt trip.

I shouldn't have to explain myself to you.

so now i need to think about replying or not. i hate the thought of her getting the last word. but is she right? and if yes, then i should just shut it.

still it was a pretty cold email from her. i just wish i could get angry about this. i know god would. and my mother. but as soon as i think badly, i reconsider. then again, i don't think she's doing any reconidering over there.

if i were numb, all this would be so easy.

i'm going to sleep on it and see if i can think of what to do. i emailed blonde for help. she might be up checking emails if her little girl is up. i do need help here. i'm in uncharted seas; usually i would just forget about the woman. but i don't think anyone sees that happening here. i need help. anyone reads this and has any advice, please share.

on a plus note, i did use my depression to get out of committee work. i just told the dept head i was overwhelmed with life stuff and could keep up with the work. she felt sorry and said she'd go to someone else. at least one good thing from everyone knowing i got my heart crushed.